XE: Convert USD/CLP. United States Dollar to Chile Peso
Im the guy who did over four years of this on hardmode and binge relapsed before the beginning of the year. I threw it all away.
Made it this entire year until the night before last night, did the dirty deed that night and then one more time again last night. idk what happened to me I was trying to beat my last score of just over four years. YOu guys can ask me anything I guess. I really let myself down and its so bad im entertaining thoughts of how good it would feel to just be dead and done..at least ive only done it twice this year right? And like 60 times before the start of the year. im not gonna do it again. im going to beat my streak of four years. I put that on everything I really want to. I cant think of a single other person whos done over four years but then again ive been dipped out of this community for a long time now. im heading right over to chains after this post and updating my streak. I think what hurt my goals so much was not having a chain. without a daily chain to put a click on and get a new number everyday, even if the number is just two weeks two days or two months, I am far less motivated. I can tell you all this fapping shit is not worth anything to me and it shouldn't be worth anything to any of you either. lets just look at the mass anecdotal posts of people claiming everyone just walks all over them and treats them like dirt after they fap. look at the energy drain. ive been partially following a raw living foods diet lately and last night I had two cans of chili and it made me so tired I just said fuck it and went to bed..idk how this bullshit the media and science sells us even works for most people..here in America where I live at least it is normal and encouraged to eat lots of meat everyday (im more into fasting), pay for porn and pay to be a cuck (I have a 4k tv/monitor but fuck being a cuck), and just stuff urself with food all day and get blood pressure medications when your lifestyle finally takes its toll.. I need to advance. I need to get surgery for my deviated septum so I can breathe fully through my nose and I need to start school and I for sure don't want to start school fresh off a a fapping session. everyone will just treat me like shit and ill feel down all of the time. I really cant handle the people being mean to you after you relapse thing. it just pisses me off. its not my fault I thought I had this addiction mastered and im sure its none of your faults either. we deserve better guys. again you guys can ask me anything I haven't elaborated much on the distinction between a life of purity and a life of self abuse, but to quickly summarize - you get lots of energy. working out is easy. your medications (psychiatric) seem to work better (if you are on them, I take one), panic and mental paranoia anguish suffering darkness pain etc easier to see through with laser vision and not be hurt by, more motivated and its harder to settle for less, girls WILL smile at you and notice you more (however like me if you never do anything about it you will be stuck in your own depression lol), easier to keep things like your room and home clean and organized, people WILL be friendly to you hook you up want to be your friend and want to link with you etc, your sense of style should improve (much easier for me to do simple things like match outfits), your other addictions become childs play, alcoholism? Nope. If you ARE still suffering alcoholism problems or any other addiction you WILL more easily notice how much its effecting you negatively, I notice for myself, as someone who rarely drinks and used to have a serious problem with alcohol but doesn't anymore - that my food addiction and compulsively running into the kitchen and devouring soups and stuff is no longer something I want to do. I just want to eat lots of bananas and do a dry fast at least twice a week.. I don't think much of how much I miss food or anything its just easier to abstain from painful eating. Uh what else..your artistic talents or creativity come out, for me Im into rapping and making tracks every once in a while with producer friends, and lately ive been wanting to make a song really bad, kinda corny but I just want to make a song to tell my mom im not going to give it up, despite the pain im going through (not fully nofap related) I just want to thank her for being there for me and I have a lot of motivation to actually go through with this thanks to not fucking fapping every night the past year. Um youll become a more spontaneous person, its easier to do new things because youre more able to focus, like its hard for me to break out of doing the same things all the time cause im complacent and spoiled in life, but I can make myself take walks or watch new tv shows or work on music or study forex day trading or whatever when I really need it for myself. so the differences are not only mental and physical but spiritual and soulful. your soul will sing if you live a good life a try to do creative things for yourself, don't fap control your addictions and eat a good diet I promise. we all have some creativity in us. this post is mainly for myself and I do not expect anyone to read it. I would like to check up on it later. I am the king of my personal cross in life. nobody else. - king
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